The reality of things is this:
We're all turning 21, an age of supposed maturity and wisdom. Seriously? Come on. Half the people at this age don't even know what the heck they're going to do with their lives let alone have messages of wisdom to pass on.
It's okay if now is the time we're slowly starting to figure things out. But it is not okay when we act like 15 year old kids who are just beginning to discover what responsibility is. You know why? We're 21. We're old. We've lived on this planet for 21 years people. Which is (21 x 365) days.
1) It's time to acknowledge and accept the responsibilities around us. Some are duties we don't even want. Heck! Do you think I love washing and drying and folding clothes!?! No! But I do it because it makes things at home easier and peaceful because it's one less chore to accomplish for the rest of the family and one less thing for my mum to worry about.
Like I said, there are duties that we don't want to take and they may seem unreasonable sometimes. Like when the rest of my siblings don't do their chores for the day and I'm completing mine every single time. Am I happy with them? No! But it doesn't matter because at the end of the day when my mum comes home and my siblings and I sit down for dinner, there's one less thing to worry about.
2) Performing your duty is not about whether it makes your happy or whether it is fair. It's about ensuring that ultimately at the end of the day, everyone is at peace with their surroundings. And strangely and oddly enough, that makes you happy because you were part of making that possible.
3) So to hell with our childish theories of "Why should I do that if he isn't doing it?" You want to know why? BECAUSE EACH AND EVERYONE OF US ARE DIFFERENT FROM ONE ANOTHER AND COMPARISONS DON'T BEGET ANYTHING FRUITFUL OR POSITIVE. IT ONLY INSPIRES JEALOUSLY, HATRED AND CONFUSION.
So the next time your parents say get back home now, don't argue with this comeback,
"But my friend's parents lets him stay out till past midnight. Why do I have to be home by 11am?" Don't argue with that statement. However, if we decide to argue in another way, for example,
"I'm 21 and old enough to decide when I stay out and when I come home!" STUPID ARGUMENT BY THE WAY!!! Most of us are still living with our parents at the age of 21. So unless we own your own apartment, that argument is dumb! Yeah we're 21 but no we don't decide what time we go home because we're not paying for the house!!! But if you are, then congratulations, you may proceed on and argue with that statement.
4) Also, at the ripe old age of 21, unless we've got a plan, we shouldn't go around doing anything else. WORK FIRST, ENJOY LATER! People. Do you want to be relaxing at the age of 35? Do you want to have a spouse with children, enjoying your life with money at the age of 40? Do you want to be able to afford anything without having to worry about the next day?
Well if you answered YES to the above questions, you need to mark out your plan.
Folks it's never too late or too early to construct a plan. And I don't mean a plan that will earn you millions of dollars. That takes time. I'm talking about the first step. Deciding where you want to be in 10 years time. Deciding what kind of person you want to be known as. Deciding what values are most important to you. And deciding who you can trust. Because you can only succeed in life if you surround yourself with positive people who promote positive thinking as well as encourage you. Please for the love of god, don't surround yourself with mocking fools who can only spew discouraging words veiled in cleverly constructed snide jokes. Then everyone laughs at you and you smile saying that's funny. Because these people are not going to get your far.
5) Also, expand your social network. That will help you fortify the plan you've created. Make more friends and build your contact base. I'm not saying we should have many many good friends. Good friends are only 1 or 2. Sometimes they are from your family and other times they are friends you found along the way. These are the people you can trust to cover your back just as how you know you will not hesitate to cover theirs. However, having multiple social circles is good because you expand your horizons and your knowledge. Meeting with different people teaches you how to deal with differing personalities as well as how to carry yourself in different company. It also allows you to become a better judge of character.
Don't be afraid to step out of your tight circle of friends to explore other possibilities. Set dinners with new people, go out for movies with other people. Your tight circle of friends will always be there if they really care for you. In fact, they would encourage you to expand your circle while doing the same as well.
6) And another thing, you are 21. So you're old enough to know what you like and what you dislike. So if you dislike something, say so. Don't keep it to yourself. Because if you tolerate a certain form of behaviour or activity despite not liking it, it's never going to go away. In fact, you're only going to get more and more miserable. Simply state, "Hey, I don't like it. So please stop." or "Hey I don't want to do this. I'm heading off." And if the group you're with argues that you're being a killjoy and you are boring, ummm....WALK AWAY! Good grief. You don't have to tolerate rubbish. Besides, it allows you to find something more fun to do.
7) Now's the perfect time to start doing new things, exploring new skills and discovering who you are. You cannot do that by doing the same old things every single day. Explore! Join new courses! Take chances! Take risks! If you want to see the world, you've got to step into it not stay hidden. Don't build a bubble around yourself and be contended with living in it. Some might argue and say what's wrong with wanting a simple life with just 10 to 20 people sharing it with you. Then I say, you should not be reading this post because it is meant for those who want something more from their lives.
8) Don't let your opinion or opinions of others hold you back. "I don't think I can." or "I think you have alittle bit of a problem in this area. You shouldn't do this now?" JUST GIVE IT A SHOT! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DIE FROM TRYING! SO TOUGHEN UP AND GO FOR IT! And if after trying you realise that your skills may not lie in that area, then it is okay. Move on. But if you enjoy doing it despite sucking at it, WHAT THE HELL IS STOPPING YOU!?! DO WHAT YOU LOVE!!! If you love singing and your voice sucks, JUST BLOODY SING WHEN YOU'RE WALKING DOWN THE STREET! If you love dancing but have no sense of beats whatsoever, JUST BLOODY DANCE IN YOUR ROOM OR WITH YOUR FRIENDS! And, if you love drawing but can't draw as well as the next person, JUST DRAW!!!!!!!!!!!
No one has the right to stop you or tell you that you can't do it. And if people want to comment and criticize, let them. It's their opinion. But don't surround yourself with people like that.
9) And please for your own sake, don't judge others. For example, we may have been educated well and brought up in an excellent family, speak well, carry ourselves well and even produce intelligent ideas. But if we are not hardworking and humble, the people who work at coffee shops and the delivery boys from Macdonalds are a 100X more brilliant than us. (I mentioned the delivery boys because one just cam and delivered my meal to my house.) But it is true.
Hardworking people are more deserving of respect than people who BELIEVE it is their right to be respected.
10) Last but not least, at the age of 21, you need to come to terms with your flaws as well as your strengths. Only by understanding your weaknesses and your strengths can you actually do something with your life. For example, yours truly used to alter herself to suit the different company. A chameleon you'd call it. If I was in a group of controlling people, I'd stop leading and just sit back and let them control the situation. If I was in a group of loud people, I'd try to match up to their level of enthusiasm. And so the list goes on. BUT YOU DON"T HAVE TO BE LIKE THAT.
When we were children, we wanted to make everyone happy so pleasing people was at the top of our list. When someone was angry with us, we'd actually lose sleep over that thinking what we did and how we could pacify them as quickly as possible. But things change. As you grow older, you just want to be comfortable in your own skin and you want the people around you to be comfortable with who you are as well. So you have to stay true to your personality and there will be this handful of people who will stand by you. They don't require you to change your mood to suit theirs. They don't require calls every single day. They don't require you to inform them where you are. They don't require you to constantly do things to keep them happy. A call once a week. A dinner a fortnight. An outing once a month. These are the people you'll soon call your good friends.
So I've decided to make a declaration and invite you to do the same. Just state, "MY DECLARATION OF 21", and go on ahead to list you strengths, your weaknesses, your likes and dislikes and at the end of it, write, "I'm 21 and I'm proud to say I've got a great future ahead of me." If you're not 21 and still want to declare...what the heck...just do it. It'll make you feel better : ) And if you don't want to declare anything, it's fine as well.
So here's MY DECLARATION OF 21,
I'm strong-willed and fiercely independent. I hate being told what to do but agree that I have much to learn. I am a control freak who demands that things go her way and I'll only give in if your idea is better than mine. I love quiet time and don't require people's company 24/7. I am ambitious and can be bossy. I hate doing housework but do it because I must. I love playing the organ and hate it when people touch my instrument without permission. I don't like people knowing too much about me and prefer to keep half my life to myself. I hate liars and procrastinators. I respect hardworkers and people who know their own minds. I don't like it when people argue with me over a situation in which I was right. I like reading books, all sorts of books. I hate it when people answer for me when I'm more than capable of doing so myself unless ofcourse you're my personal secretary then go ahead. I love my family and they're the most important thing to me. I care for my friends and will defend them if the need arises.
I'm 21 and I'm proud to say I've got a great future ahead of me.
