Love As I Know It

So here's something I rarely talk about; love. And even if I do, I don't think I have a believable set of ideas of what it should be. I mean I can sprout some pretty logical stuff but in all honesty, I have absoultely and I mean ABSOULTELY no idea what love is.

I've had friends who complain about not finding the right guy or girl or friends who are in relationships and seem so sure about their relationships and then those who simply get lost in the realm of love.

And me? I'm one of those who stand on the sidelines, popcorn in hand, body tensed, watching those who dare or are stupid enough to take the plunge into that ocean  called 'love' (cliche I know but just roll with me) where they are pushed, pulled, tugged and tossed about as though a storm was taking place (yeah...I thought if I completed the sentence it'd be better but it sounds so corny lol)

(I thought the picture might help...you know evoke emotions...about storms...and the tossing part...and...forget it.)

Anyways, love is really that; a storm. I mean there's so much emotional turmoil and so much mayhem involved in the process. But I can go on and on about love and there'd be a wide variety of sub headings to discuss. So, to narrow it down, I'm going to list 5 reasons why I don't want to fall in love and 5 reasons why I love the idea of love. Contradictory I know. But hey, in life we tend to have opposing perspectives about everything and this is just another grey area. Besides I'm not alone in this situation. There's plenty of you out there who probably feel the same way as I do....I think.

So back to the matter at hand...here are the 2 lists.

LIST 1
WHY I DON'T WANT TO FALL IN LOVE

1) I'm commitment phobic.
Yeah yeah. It's a line many of you have probably heard before and it's mostly from guys. But us girls, well some of us, have commitment issues. I don't want to get into a relationship because I'm afraid I can't give enough of myself to a guy or atleast give him as much as he gives me. Because I'm the kind of person who doesn't expect anything from anyone. I don't expect someone to follow me when I go somewhere or be there when I'm sad or talk to me when I'm feeling bored. So I don't want to be in a situation where a guy thinks he needs to do things for me because then I feel like I owe him something back; like I'm committed to him.
2) I don't want to experience the Pain I've seen others go through.
Pathetic yes. Stupid no. I've had friends who have been so many times by love that they can't seem to trust anyone else after that. I don't want to have to go through life altering, mind changing situations although I know I won't be able to prevent it from happening in the future. I suppose I am the wary sort. Stay at the bleachers and don't get involved in the game. That way, you won't know the pain of the game but at the same time, you won't know how good you are at the game.

3) Can't Stand Phone Conversations.
I don't really want to sit all day long and listen to him prattle on about his day. Unless he's a famous adventurer who goes on daring escapades and fashions stories for me to listen. Then, I'd listen : )

4) Emotions= Mess
It's true. Don't deny it. But I have friends who are the epitome of masters of emotions. Maybe they're not gurus of it but they do believe emotions are good and that it's not wrong to express it and harness that emotion. But for me, emotions means a mess. I don't want to be a mess because of someone else. I rather be in control....yes I'm a control freak.

5) I'm a Coward
I'll admit to that. Being in love means opening up yourself to that other person and letting them in completely. And that's not something I'm comfortable with! It's cowardly I accept but I just can't do it. It's like exposing yourself and allowing yourself to get hurt. Seriously, people who do so are either brave brave souls or dumb asses.

List 2:
WHY I LOVE THE IDEA OF LOVE

1) Because every girl dreams of her prince charming.
He may not be a knight on a horse or a guy with a castle but he's a man who loves his woman dearly and will do whatever it takes to protect her and love her. He is strong and silent. I'm not talking about a man who broods (although that's attractive in another way ; ) ). I mean a man who is calm and poised and who can take charge of a situation. He knows his own worth and  is does not step back down from a challenge.

2) Because love means there's some sort of happy ending for you.
It's nice to think I'd get my 16 candle ending or a scene from Ghosts of Girlfriend's past:

3) I've seen people who are truly in love and watching them makes love seem amazing and possible for us common folk.

4) Movies. Yes. I blame them because they plant ideas in your head such as running along a beach can be romantic or montages of love scenes in your life is realistic or kissing in the rain is sexy...you know what I mean.

5) It means you won't grow old and die alone.
Morbid but oh so very true.


So those are my lists. There's actually many more points but unless I'm asked to, I'm not going to carry on writing all of them out.

And I don't know when I'll fall in love for the first time or have my 1st kiss or even if it will happen. Heck, I'm not even sure I'll work up the courage to admit to someone I'm crushing on that I like them. But if there's one thing I'm sure of, is if Hugh Jackman were single and available, I'd be the first one in the line to snare him.

Good day folks : )