Here's Why....
1) I'm working: Because I prefer to keep my time occupied and getting a job never hurt anyone. In fact, this is the first real job I've had...teaching aside.
2) I'm not in UK: Because UK believes I'm a terrorist and refuses to approve my visa...twice. Because things happen for a reason. Because there's something I've yet to finish before I go. Because I haven't told the people who matter that I will miss them.
3) Praven's awesome: He went to help me get a damaged $79.90 dress exchanged but in the end couldn't so bought a new dress and told me he managed to exchanged it.
4) I know Deepavali's here: Mum's shouting at us at 8am on weekends to clean the rooms and dad went missing. It's like he knows...
5) AFT is my baby but at the same time isn't: AFT was an idea. AFT was a dream of mine. AFT is not an "It". Rather, it's an emotion. Arteen Furteens is not defined by the events but more by the people in it. And it started small but slowly new people join and the family grows whether we like it or not. Sometimes old habits die and new ones emerge. Sometimes we have to adapt or just fade away into the darkness. So Yoga mentioned something in his blog about how things seem to be changing and the energy fading. Well it's true and he's also right in saying it's everyone's responsibility to do something about it.
I love you guys but that is no longer my job. I believe that you have the capability to do something about it. I believe that individually you have something special to bring to the table. And you have to stand strong. AFT was built for those who loved the ARTS but were not given an opportunity. SO MAKE SURE YOU STICK TO THAT MOTTO BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT SHOULD DEFINE THE PEOPLE WHO ARE IN THE COMMITTEE. IF YOU LOSE SIGHT OF THAT THEN AFT MAKES NO SENSE. AFT will always be there. It can never fade away. But it's up to the people inside to except newcomers and cultivate their talents. It's up to you guys to take AFT into the next phase. Jokes aside guys. A new term is coming! Can you imagine the new ideas that can come out!
And the postponment of the musical is sad and yet at the same time making it a tradition for the musical to fall on March. And right after will be AFT night! So please, when times are down and things seem bleak, each of you have that matchstick (will) to start a fire. You just need the right surface (dream) to flick the matchstick against for fire (AFT spirit) to come alive.
Do that. Because you have more lives to touch. You should never stop.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
To those who read this god damn blog and expect to see their name
Yes this post is dedicated to all the people I know and care for....and well basically read this blog ; )
Actually the criteria is only the last. Yeah...
1) Praven, I'm proud of you. So very proud of what you are capable of. Who would have thought you had such capacity to produce music like that. I don't even know where the music is coming from. And it's amazing to watch. (This ass doesn't read the blog but I know Sameer does so it's the same cause Sameer talks...alot)
2) Shatny, I don't tell you this enough but you are one strong woman. You know what you want and go after it. Getting the Ministry of Manpower Investigative Officer job wasn't easy but you did it and I'm proud of you. I look at you and don't fear about the person you're going to become in life. You may be emotional : ) but when it comes down to the gritty details of life, you've got it under control.
3) Prateepan...where do I even begin kid. You have the mind of our mother's. You want to do everything and anything. And I'm glad you're doing that at this age. You're like what some people I know would call the Jesus of Sembawang. You're not afraid to stick to a plan and follow it through. And what's better is that people follow you in your plans and not because you're bossy or insist they do but because you've gained their trust and they enjoy the plans you make.
4) Serena, babe, girlfriend haha. Getting into NUS is no easy feat and working your butt of there isn't any easier. You are doing an amazing job girl what with balancing your family, friends and AFT XD I know there are times when it feels superbly hard and you just wish you had someone to talk to, to pour all your emotions out to and well....just talk to. And the thing is you deserve the best. And usually good people have to wait for the best things in life. So just hold on Serena. Something special will happen : ) (I don't have a hot latin male being delivered to your house. That's not the special thing. But if the special thing doesn't come soon and you really can't wait, we'll go for the hot latin male delivery thingy plan.)
5) Naathan, you are probably the most hilarious guy I know....in Singapore that is. But you're funny all the same. You have so much potential and so much capability that I know you are capable for something more creative and bigger in life. So reach out and grab those dreams. Sometimes it's better if you start living your own dreams out instead of the dreams of others because your life does matter.
6) Prabs Prabs Prabs : ) Get that job as a chef soon and work your butt off. You have that skill in you. It's not like you can just cook. Anyone can cook. Some chefs can cook really well but they're missing something. It's like being able to play the notes for a music piece on the piano VS letting the music flow through your body and rising from your fingertips to caress the piano. Your skills to cook come from some place special. You don't just cook, you create pieces. Trust me. I would know. I love food.
7) Yoga, congratulations on being the best of the best. You wanted something and you went for it. It's amazing to see in what short time you've changed. You're still you but more matured and less OCP : ) Keep doing what you're doing Yoga because you're doing it well and with the support of everyone around you.
8) Idham, congratualtions for being the ...student of the term...right? Haha congrats seriously. I know how hard it's been for you and JC life isn't easy. But you must be doing something right if you're getting student of the term right? Stay strong and work at it. Don't let your mind wander and just focus. You'll do well. You're a smart kid.
9) Sameer....what can I say? Your ego carries you through any situation...lol But it's been great to watch you grow up to the person you've become. You have leadership qualities in you and you've started displaying them. Sometimes when I look at you I think you fear exerting those qualities because you're afraid of what would happen after you do so. Would people listen to you? Or would they just laugh it off? So that's why you either sometimes goof off or snap. But honestly I think you should try exerting one day. You'd be surprised by the results because you have the capacity to pull it off. But you still have to wait for Serena to step down to take over AFT.
10) KC, chinese fella. Honestly I'm impressed with you. You're like the male version of Serena. Not afraid to hang out with mostly Indians and Malays. Then again, you could be doing that to be the centre of attention. Yeah that makes sense. But honestly, you are one focused young man. For all the deluded, act cool, goof off fronts that you put up, I can see that you think logically and expect the best for yourself. And you should because you deserve it, all of you do.
11) Eh....Ghau doesn't read this blog right?
12) Kanitha : ) Dearest young lady. You're like that hidden talent that pops out of nowhere to wow everyone. You are intelligent, effective, logical minded, emotional (to a certain extent. which is good. because too emotional is obviously...tough...and not emotional...is tough...), strong hearted and confident. All the attributes any mother would want in their daughter and any man would want in their chicka ; ) You're in NUS now darling, nothing can stand in your way as long as you stand firm.
Okay if there's anyone else who reads my blog but isn't mentioned, sorry.
Actually the criteria is only the last. Yeah...
1) Praven, I'm proud of you. So very proud of what you are capable of. Who would have thought you had such capacity to produce music like that. I don't even know where the music is coming from. And it's amazing to watch. (This ass doesn't read the blog but I know Sameer does so it's the same cause Sameer talks...alot)
2) Shatny, I don't tell you this enough but you are one strong woman. You know what you want and go after it. Getting the Ministry of Manpower Investigative Officer job wasn't easy but you did it and I'm proud of you. I look at you and don't fear about the person you're going to become in life. You may be emotional : ) but when it comes down to the gritty details of life, you've got it under control.
3) Prateepan...where do I even begin kid. You have the mind of our mother's. You want to do everything and anything. And I'm glad you're doing that at this age. You're like what some people I know would call the Jesus of Sembawang. You're not afraid to stick to a plan and follow it through. And what's better is that people follow you in your plans and not because you're bossy or insist they do but because you've gained their trust and they enjoy the plans you make.
4) Serena, babe, girlfriend haha. Getting into NUS is no easy feat and working your butt of there isn't any easier. You are doing an amazing job girl what with balancing your family, friends and AFT XD I know there are times when it feels superbly hard and you just wish you had someone to talk to, to pour all your emotions out to and well....just talk to. And the thing is you deserve the best. And usually good people have to wait for the best things in life. So just hold on Serena. Something special will happen : ) (I don't have a hot latin male being delivered to your house. That's not the special thing. But if the special thing doesn't come soon and you really can't wait, we'll go for the hot latin male delivery thingy plan.)
5) Naathan, you are probably the most hilarious guy I know....in Singapore that is. But you're funny all the same. You have so much potential and so much capability that I know you are capable for something more creative and bigger in life. So reach out and grab those dreams. Sometimes it's better if you start living your own dreams out instead of the dreams of others because your life does matter.
6) Prabs Prabs Prabs : ) Get that job as a chef soon and work your butt off. You have that skill in you. It's not like you can just cook. Anyone can cook. Some chefs can cook really well but they're missing something. It's like being able to play the notes for a music piece on the piano VS letting the music flow through your body and rising from your fingertips to caress the piano. Your skills to cook come from some place special. You don't just cook, you create pieces. Trust me. I would know. I love food.
7) Yoga, congratulations on being the best of the best. You wanted something and you went for it. It's amazing to see in what short time you've changed. You're still you but more matured and less OCP : ) Keep doing what you're doing Yoga because you're doing it well and with the support of everyone around you.
8) Idham, congratualtions for being the ...student of the term...right? Haha congrats seriously. I know how hard it's been for you and JC life isn't easy. But you must be doing something right if you're getting student of the term right? Stay strong and work at it. Don't let your mind wander and just focus. You'll do well. You're a smart kid.
9) Sameer....what can I say? Your ego carries you through any situation...lol But it's been great to watch you grow up to the person you've become. You have leadership qualities in you and you've started displaying them. Sometimes when I look at you I think you fear exerting those qualities because you're afraid of what would happen after you do so. Would people listen to you? Or would they just laugh it off? So that's why you either sometimes goof off or snap. But honestly I think you should try exerting one day. You'd be surprised by the results because you have the capacity to pull it off. But you still have to wait for Serena to step down to take over AFT.
10) KC, chinese fella. Honestly I'm impressed with you. You're like the male version of Serena. Not afraid to hang out with mostly Indians and Malays. Then again, you could be doing that to be the centre of attention. Yeah that makes sense. But honestly, you are one focused young man. For all the deluded, act cool, goof off fronts that you put up, I can see that you think logically and expect the best for yourself. And you should because you deserve it, all of you do.
11) Eh....Ghau doesn't read this blog right?
12) Kanitha : ) Dearest young lady. You're like that hidden talent that pops out of nowhere to wow everyone. You are intelligent, effective, logical minded, emotional (to a certain extent. which is good. because too emotional is obviously...tough...and not emotional...is tough...), strong hearted and confident. All the attributes any mother would want in their daughter and any man would want in their chicka ; ) You're in NUS now darling, nothing can stand in your way as long as you stand firm.
Okay if there's anyone else who reads my blog but isn't mentioned, sorry.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
JOB!!!
I'm starting work in less than 9 hours!!! I'm excited in the "I've got something productive to do in the morning" sort of way! Plus, it's an interesting job of a service quality executive. They make it sound exciting. I'll experience my first day and then blog about it I suppose...
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Trudging Through It All
This past year has been a nightmare. 2010 has definitely not been my year. As much as I try to smile through it all, there is that undeniable truth that everything that could go wrong has gone wrong...and all at the same time... I know...I'm being melodramatic. So sue me. But I've really been trying to keep a positive outlook on it all. No matter what happened, I'd shrug my shoulders, give a smile and convince myself that I'm not affected. It worked for awhile until everything just came crashing down.
And that's when I resorted to joking about it because I just couldn't believe that so many bad things could happen at one time. The moment the first bad thing happened, my mum said, "Everything happens for a reason. Maybe you're meant to travel a different path." If I only I got a dollar for everytime someone esle told me the same thing after that. It's not that I don't want to believe them. That would just make me childish and unreasonable. It's just that I can't accept the fact that my own future is out of my hands. And it's been ridiculously frustrating because I feel agitated and pissed off but I have to calm down about it because childish ranting and crying would not get me anywhere. So I pick myself up and dust myself and step forward again. But it feels like every step forward takes me 2 steps back.
I don't know when things are going to change. I just hope they do soon because as much as I preach having alot of faith, holding on for a year is really stretching it thin. Not being able to control what happens in my life is infuriating and taxing.
And writing became unimportant to me during this time because I felt no urge (like I used to) to write down my thoughts and pen down my dreams. Things became unimportant and I felt uninspired and unsure. But even during those times, I had to keep a level head. If there's one thing my mum has ingrained into my siblings and I is that no matter what happens to you, never ever break apart because time changes swiftly and so does your fate. She made sure we grew up learning how to think logically and react wisely.
And that's why I've got her to thank the most for. My mum has been important to me since the day I was bloody born. She never made me feel alone and has always been there. I don't know what I would do without her especially during this one year. Having her around to talk to is agitating and infuriating but at least I know that when I speak to her, I'm being honset about what I feel.
So what's the point of this post? Nothing majorly important to you my reader. But it is important to me. Because I'm slowly finding my stride back and I'm feeling inspired to write. I'm trudging through it all.
And that's when I resorted to joking about it because I just couldn't believe that so many bad things could happen at one time. The moment the first bad thing happened, my mum said, "Everything happens for a reason. Maybe you're meant to travel a different path." If I only I got a dollar for everytime someone esle told me the same thing after that. It's not that I don't want to believe them. That would just make me childish and unreasonable. It's just that I can't accept the fact that my own future is out of my hands. And it's been ridiculously frustrating because I feel agitated and pissed off but I have to calm down about it because childish ranting and crying would not get me anywhere. So I pick myself up and dust myself and step forward again. But it feels like every step forward takes me 2 steps back.
I don't know when things are going to change. I just hope they do soon because as much as I preach having alot of faith, holding on for a year is really stretching it thin. Not being able to control what happens in my life is infuriating and taxing.
And writing became unimportant to me during this time because I felt no urge (like I used to) to write down my thoughts and pen down my dreams. Things became unimportant and I felt uninspired and unsure. But even during those times, I had to keep a level head. If there's one thing my mum has ingrained into my siblings and I is that no matter what happens to you, never ever break apart because time changes swiftly and so does your fate. She made sure we grew up learning how to think logically and react wisely.
And that's why I've got her to thank the most for. My mum has been important to me since the day I was bloody born. She never made me feel alone and has always been there. I don't know what I would do without her especially during this one year. Having her around to talk to is agitating and infuriating but at least I know that when I speak to her, I'm being honset about what I feel.
So what's the point of this post? Nothing majorly important to you my reader. But it is important to me. Because I'm slowly finding my stride back and I'm feeling inspired to write. I'm trudging through it all.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
You can call me the woman with no tack.
Yes, I have no tack sometimes...sadly. I've just been told twice, by two different people that they were hurt by what I said....No surprise there. I know I have a sharp tongue and I control it pretty well...most of the time. And when I do know I've delivered a rather harsh blow, I quickly apologise for it, only when it was uncalled for.
But the no tack thing has worked out for me most of the time. It allows me to tell people what I think without hiding the truth under a shitload of flowery words. Direct speech is the best because you don't waste time and instead get right to the point. But you must also remember to make sure direct speech is kept strictly to work because you don't want it to affect friendships.
Sometimes my no tack in friendship stems from the fact that I'm not very good at relaying emotions. I'm not EQ low but I am emotion shy. Sadly true. And that is all the information I can provide about myself...for the moment.
Moving on to other matters. My legs still hurt and are sore from the ice skating trip on Sunday. Damn good fun and exercise but a hell of alot of muscle aches now. Things have been okay so far. I've taken a calm and patient perspective on this whole visa thing. When it comes, it'll come. I told my mum that the two of us have to calm down and just patiently wait. If I don't leave by next Tuesday, I'll just go next year for the January intake. I'll still finish in August. So no big deal.
Okay...gonna head off to sleep land. Night!
But the no tack thing has worked out for me most of the time. It allows me to tell people what I think without hiding the truth under a shitload of flowery words. Direct speech is the best because you don't waste time and instead get right to the point. But you must also remember to make sure direct speech is kept strictly to work because you don't want it to affect friendships.
Sometimes my no tack in friendship stems from the fact that I'm not very good at relaying emotions. I'm not EQ low but I am emotion shy. Sadly true. And that is all the information I can provide about myself...for the moment.
Moving on to other matters. My legs still hurt and are sore from the ice skating trip on Sunday. Damn good fun and exercise but a hell of alot of muscle aches now. Things have been okay so far. I've taken a calm and patient perspective on this whole visa thing. When it comes, it'll come. I told my mum that the two of us have to calm down and just patiently wait. If I don't leave by next Tuesday, I'll just go next year for the January intake. I'll still finish in August. So no big deal.
Okay...gonna head off to sleep land. Night!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Maturity- A perception rather than wisdom that comes with age
We naturally assume maturity comes with age but that is not the case at all. Maturity is a perception. It is a way of thinking. It is a logical way of thinking. Some of us, gain this maturity with experience while others lose it with experience. Situations change a person and the ideas they hold, may it be for better or worse. I have had the sad privilege of being around people who have lost their maturity because of the incidents in life they have faced. But then again, I am also surrounded by people whose level of maturity increases as they face life's problems.
But sometimes maturity seems over rated. It prevents you from doing ridiculous things and just going over the edge. It also prevents you from taking risks in your own personal life because you know the consequences and logically eliminate that experience without even trying it. It's awful sometimes because you want to go through that situation just to feel human but your maturity prevents you because it has distinctly identified the disastrous outcome.
So what do you do? You need to realise that every experience is crucial, every mistake necessary and that as much as you know you shouldn't be making it, you should make it. But not all the time like some idiots I know. Make a mistake once, learn from it and move on. Don't make the same stupid mistake over and over again. It's like failing in a module or subject and repeating that year. Repetition in a mistake makes you an idiot and your maturity decreases...rapidly.
But sometimes maturity seems over rated. It prevents you from doing ridiculous things and just going over the edge. It also prevents you from taking risks in your own personal life because you know the consequences and logically eliminate that experience without even trying it. It's awful sometimes because you want to go through that situation just to feel human but your maturity prevents you because it has distinctly identified the disastrous outcome.
So what do you do? You need to realise that every experience is crucial, every mistake necessary and that as much as you know you shouldn't be making it, you should make it. But not all the time like some idiots I know. Make a mistake once, learn from it and move on. Don't make the same stupid mistake over and over again. It's like failing in a module or subject and repeating that year. Repetition in a mistake makes you an idiot and your maturity decreases...rapidly.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Part 2 of whatever Part 1 was about...
DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!!! !*^&#^Q*#(&#^#%$ Asses.
My visa application was rejected. #&^%%#(&Q Idiots.
Naathan, you're my buddy and all but the fact that you handed over my rejected visa puts you in the jinx list for the next 1 week. Sorry.
I have to actually go through the application again! Today was a hell lot of running around, setting up a new bank account, and well...alot of other things. Tomorrow's going to be another long long and I mean LONG waiting session at the UK visa center...sucks. But it also means I have 1 more week in Singapore to spend time with everyone...but still sucks...because I'll probably be missing 3 days of my classes.
Now onto other things...the chalet was awesome : ) Everyone being there was important to me and the fact that I got to see my family on one day and my friends the next was fantastic. I had small talk with some of my friends it was good to hear from them after a long time. Biking with the gang was so cool haha. Motorised biking for the win! And kudos to Yoga for actually catching up with Sameer and me on his non-motorised mountain bike.
Alright...mentally exhausted so post ends here...
Yup..
My visa application was rejected. #&^%%#(&Q Idiots.
Naathan, you're my buddy and all but the fact that you handed over my rejected visa puts you in the jinx list for the next 1 week. Sorry.
I have to actually go through the application again! Today was a hell lot of running around, setting up a new bank account, and well...alot of other things. Tomorrow's going to be another long long and I mean LONG waiting session at the UK visa center...sucks. But it also means I have 1 more week in Singapore to spend time with everyone...but still sucks...because I'll probably be missing 3 days of my classes.
Now onto other things...the chalet was awesome : ) Everyone being there was important to me and the fact that I got to see my family on one day and my friends the next was fantastic. I had small talk with some of my friends it was good to hear from them after a long time. Biking with the gang was so cool haha. Motorised biking for the win! And kudos to Yoga for actually catching up with Sameer and me on his non-motorised mountain bike.
Alright...mentally exhausted so post ends here...
Yup..
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